Beginnings

I recently decided (today, in fact) that I needed to start blogging. My first thought spurning from this decision was, "But won't it just be another time waster late at night keeping me from sleeping?" I quickly silenced that thought, insisting to myself that this blog will help me sleep at night, as I gather thoughts in my head and organize them into a coherent form on the Internet. I want to spend more time on this blog than on facebook (which means that I will have to drastically shorten my time on facebook each day). I pray that this blog will help me to discover more vividly how I relate to God by reflecting on how I saw Him in my day, or how I see him working in a specific area in my life. I don't want this blog to become a burden, an imposition on my schedule, or an obligation, rather I want it to be a tool to keep me accountable for how richly I am living life. If I have absolutely nothing to write on any given day, then it should be a sign to me that I am not really living a life filled with Christ. So I begin...

I read a lot today. I actually started and completed a whole book all in one day. I don't think I have ever done that before. I read "Of Knights and Fair Maidens" by Jeff and Danielle Myers. It's another one of those "dating books;" more specifically, this book is about courtship. I came away from reading that book without having any revolutionary thoughts or making a decision to change my way of thinking about relationships. I don't really know what I thought about it. I think what bothered me about it was that it listed multitudinous ways to make courtship work really well, that is, without emotional pain. I agree with avoiding pain in the context of avoiding an abusive relationship, but the book listed scores of topics for a courting couple to talk about to prepare themselves for marriage. The book even suggests that the man find out how much time it takes to care for a house, and that he knows how to fix things that break (windows, doors, faucets, the furnace, etc.). It also suggests that the couple discuss "What rituals do you go through before starting on a business trip? Going to bed? Going on vacation? Getting ready in the morning? Do you prefer to talk or not talk at those times?" Although those are helpful things to find out before marriage, I think many of the things the book lists can be figured out after the couple is married, and the couple can still thrive as married people. The book seemed to suggest a "happily ever after" that could be achieved by following all the ideas written in its pages. Everyone knows that marriage is not "happily ever after." It takes a lot of hard work to keep going, but it is so worth it! So many people are enamored with the view that life is about making sure that you are happy. Life is not about "happily ever afters." Life entails much pain, but it is often through the painful times (more often than the happy times) that God teaches us the most about ourselves and our relationship to Him.

That reminds me of something I read yesterday that Shauna Niequist wrote in her book "Cold Tangerines." She was discussing how people are searching for something permanent in their lives. A permanent home, a permanent job, a permanent church family... something to remain stable so they can feel secure. She wrote,

"Everything is interim. Everything is a path or a preparation for the next thing, and we never know what the next thing is. Life is like that, of course, twisty and surprising. But life with God is like that exponentially. We can dig in , make plans, write in stone, pretend we're not listening, but the voice of God has a way of being heard. It seeps in life smoke or vapor even when we have barred the door against any last-minute changes, and it moves us to different countries and different emotional territories and different ways of living. It keeps us moving and dancing and watching, and never lets us drop down into a life set on cruise control or a life ruled by a remote control. Life with God is a daring dream, full of flashes and last-minute exits and generally all the things we've said we'll never do. And with the surprises comes great hope."

I believe that hope is that God has it all under control. When I think I have it under control to prevent unpleasant or uncertain things from happening, God throws a curve ball to show me that as much as I plan away my whole life, He is the one who really controls it all. And I love that!... because I know that I am in God's hands... and that is the best place to be [I first wrote "the safest place to be," but then I realized that a life full of Christ is not about being safe; it is about glorifying Him not matter the cost].

So, combining my last two thoughts, one can prepare and prepare for marriage, but they cannot possibly be totally prepared for the wild ride God has planned. The most important thing is that the couple is truly committed to staying together "til death do us part," "for better or worse, rich or poor," you get the picture. I'm not completely discrediting the book "Of Knights and Fair Maidens"; I suggest you read it (less than 120 pages; easy read) and contemplate if you want to take a form of courtship with your future relationship, or with the one you have right now. The book has some good tips.

Now, if you are still reading, I want to write one more thing before I retire this evening. I was driving home from a slightly mediocre day at Old Navy (my place of employment) in which I fought a bad attitude in myself all day (upon which I will probably elaborate in another post), and I heard this beautiful song by Addison Road called "What Do I Know of Holy." Upon hearing the first three lines of the song, I knew it would be one of those songs that I simply must purchase on iTunes immediately and listen to it over and over and reflect on it. The lyrics are wonderful, but you really must listen to it for yourself to get the full effect of the song.

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?

It made me realize again how unworthy I am of God's attention and grace. I am a lowly human being who can scarcely comprehend what Holy means. I serve a Big God who created me and knows how dirty and sinful I am, and yet he lavishes his grace on me daily! It brings me to tears as I write this. He has been and is continually so good to me, yet I barely make time to spend fifteen minutes in His word every day. I should be so enraptured by the mystery of God's love, that I should be reaching out to him daily, yearning to learn from His word how much he loves me.

Congratulations if you made it to the end of this post. I am not writing it to be easy to read; I am writing it merely to gather my thoughts so that I may learn more from each day. I hope that you are edified and encouraged to draw nearer to God by reading this blog.